There’s no such thing as a free lunch, folks.
According to Gawker.com, the Great Chicken Riot of ’09 has erupted on the streets of America.
Tensions are running as hot as the deep fryers today as hundreds of people line up for free grilled chicken lunches courtesy of the world’s Sith Lord, Oprah, only to discover that a) the poultry has run out, or b) their KFC location is not participating in the promotion.
According to Gawker, reports have been pouring in from the scene of the melee:
“I just returned from my lunch break hoping to use the attached coupon to score some free KFC grilled chicken at the midtown location on 47 E. 42nd Street. Well I guess around 200 people also had the same idea with coupons in hand. When I finally gave up (after 30 minutes of arguing with other customers) a small riot started going on outside the store with people screaming at the manager while he won’t let them use their free KFC coupons …”
Apparently, hell hath no fury like a KFC coupon holder scorned.
Another tipster reported to Gawker that “the people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken …or the cops are called.”
This delicious anarchy reminds me of the Popeye’s protests of last month, when citizens went batshit when they couldn’t get their friggn’ nine piece for $4.99 deal…granted, it was the only Popeye’s in Minnesota:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1eiG5FCYJ8k
Lol at when the news anchor says, “I haven’t seen people this passionate about something in a long time.”
But, even this wasn’t an isolated incident. Look at the civil unrest stemming from when Popeye’s ran out of artery-clogging delights in Rochester, NY:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8pyW6w5B7Aw
Oh, and it gets even better. If you track today’s tweets for “KFC,” the picture grows more ludicrous, if that’s even possible.
“I bet KFC cooks nationwide are like “f*ck Oprah” right now.”
“more people in line for KFC at 3pm than I’ve seen at movie premieres.”
“Jus drove pass KFC off riverdale rd & the line is in the street! Daaaamnnn Oprah”
“tried calling KFC corporate customer satisfaction line to complain and get my damn coupon…line is continually busy. GRRRRRR”
What does all of this say about the human condition? Well, it is my belief that if people gave this much of a shit about anything, anything other then fried-fowl goodness, incandescent world peace would erupt from Barrack Obama’s ass and it would rain unicorns and rainbows for the remainder of eternity.
But, seriously now, there really is no free will when Oprah is involved. She’s Oprah, she should have known that everybody, everybody goes insane for the free shit she gives out. If it’s OK’d by Oprah, it’s the Golden Ticket. Run for it, Charlie! She could hand out free tickets for rhino crap and there would be lines at the zoo. Now we’re going to have to Blackhawk her BFF Gail in to fix this mess…
1 Comment
September 14, 2009 at 6:37 pm
If you don’t eat you don’t live.
Of course food is a serious business. It’s the most serious of them all.